Funny Valentines Day Quotes

Valentines Day! It’s that time of year again. Yep.. This time of year that means if you haven’t taken down your Christmas decorations, they will probably be up for Easter.
Here are some funny Valentines Day/Love Quotes to make your day better.. or worse. PLEASE NOTE: SOME OF THESE ARE NSFW!

“Roses are Red
Violets are blue
Vodka cost less
Than dinner for two”

“Roses are red
Violets are VIOLET..DUH”

“Roses are red
Violets are blue
Too many Sweettarts
Make me poo”

NO woman will be happy on Valentines Day unless she finds a man with a chocolate penis that ejaculates money

Love is like a backache – it doesn’t show up on xrays but you know its there
– George Burns

Your Valentines gift to me was SO GOOD that I’m now suspicious that you’ve been cheating

I love you will all of my butt.. I would say heart but my butts bigger

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
— Lily Tomlin

“To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.”

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.– Tim Allen

I hope my casual jokes about my cat being my valentine, make is seem less sad that my cat actually is my valentine

Screw Valentines day.. I’m just waiting for the 75% off chocolates on Feb 15th

“Roses are expensive
Violets are dumb
Chocolates are Fattening
Just give me Rum!”

If you’re sad about being alone on Valentines Day just remember nobody loves you on any other day of the year either

Your street won’t be the only thing getting plowed this Valentines day.. BOOM!

I’d love you, even if you were so ugly that everyone died

You’re my favorite thing to do on Valentines day

This Valentines Day I want to take control of your body as much as the Republican party does.

Rest assured, no matter how crappy your Valentines Day is, Instagram can make it look good.

Take comfort know that your valentines day as a single person will still be more interesting than the Valentines Day of a married person.

“Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
If you were a booger
I’d pick you!”

I just saved a bunch of money on Valentines Day by switching to single